Archive | January 2014

Coffee Ride: It is always darkest before the dawn.

                They say life is like a cup of coffee… There’s an undeniable distinct bitterness in each cup and if you stop sipping because of the bitterness you have tasted, you will not experience the sweetness within. The technique in drinking a cup of coffee is that you must continue sipping until the sweetness of the coffee comes out. In life, there’s also an undeniable bitterness that exists. It can be your whole life or just moments, it is just the same for all of us. It may not be the same situations, it may not be the same degrees but the tastes were all the same. It is bitter. Nobody likes anything that is bitter but all of us will taste that – at some point, at least. We may give up at a point of that bitterness but it is nice to remember that in every bitterness that we may have experienced – no matter how lasting will it be –  there still comes that little sweetness that we will like in the end.

                Well, this year has been tough. It is one of the toughest, darkest, and hardest years of my life or should I say the darkest so far. I can’t remember how many times I cried, I felt disconnected, I felt hopeless, and felt pressured. It was really a torturing year over-all that sometimes I want to give up. There were even times when I just want to sit and just watch all the world move as if I don’t belong. There were even times when I just want to sleep and forget all the things that have caused me such pain and there were even times when I want to disappear like a bubble so I won’t  feel anything. It is such a tough ride after all. It’s like all the worst things that could ever happen to a person squeezed into my life this year. Sometimes, I think that it is too much to carry. Sometimes, I’d like to think that those things never happen because it is overrated and it just happens in never ending teleseryes but then, I will wake staring at the blank walls realizing that everything is real.

                Everything tastes bitter but I still hope for that sweetness to come. I may have gone through a lot this year but I know I am not the only one. There are people who have experienced pain – it can be more devastating or lesser but it is still pain. No matter what the cause is, it is still pain – an arrow that pierces the our heart. It is hard to go on with a pierced heart but we only need some strength to Iet go. I remember someone telling me that your struggles are always proportional to the strength you have within you. The greater struggle you have, the stronger you are and God knows that. He will never gave you something that He thinks you can’t carry and if you give up that easily, He knows when to lift you up. His hands are always there to give a hand, He is just waiting for you to reach it.

                At some point of giving up, I realized that I can’t give up on life. It is like quitting a game at its climax. It is like reading a book while you are in the middle of it. It is horrible. I can’t even complain because every single day that I am waking up is a blessing. There’s no point on counting all the bad things that happen to you because it’ll just bring devastation and tears. In times like this, every good thing that happens to you- no matter how small it is – is everything. It is like having an inventory of the good things and eliminate all the sad thoughts you have in your baggage. It may be hard to do that, or even try to do that but we should learn to let go and move on to live. All of us are bound to move on because the world will not stop for everyone. It is impossible for one to move on that easily cause everything takes time but it should not take too long. Sometimes we are just afraid to let go because we think it is hard but we don’t know that holding on is the hardest. We can’t hold on to the things that doesn’t exist or has passed away. We should learn to let go and move on for us to live.

                Now, I can say that there’s still darkness. In fact, it is very dark yet beautiful. Not as beautiful as the sunlight during the day but beautiful. You know why? It is because I can see the brightness of the moon and stars that helps me survive this darkness. I still have something to live for. I have my family, my friends and God. They are my moon and stars that shines over me and reminds me that someday I will not just see streaks of light but the beauty of the sunlight instead. The darkness may stay for a long time or a little longer but that doesn’t matter beacuse I can see some hope that this life will give me the sweetness that I long for as I continue this coffee ride.