Archive | March 2013

17: Trashes of the past

 

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        In this life, we will get to a point wherein we just break down. We lose it. Probably, because it is too heavy to handle or too much for us to carry. Sometimes, we felt like all the world put its weight on us yet we realize we can’t have it. We can’t handle it.We may even felt like there is no end in this miserable life and we get tired of it. WE all get to that at some point. So, what to do? 

      I make those weights into trashes. I crumpled them down into pieces like pieces of paper and throw them out into the garbage. As easy as that and problem is gone. How exactly did I do that? Well, at some point, when you really don’t know what to do, like you’ll just cry because of the weight put on you, you have to stop. And that’s what I did. I stopped even for just a couple of minutes. I pray for the strength to go on. I let myself cry, pour it all out. And then, I write all of my problems into pieces of paper, and think what is the solution for this? I think and think and when I finally get the answers, I threw it all out. I just threw it all out and I know I am free. I can get through it. I am renewed. I know it didn’t really solve the problem but at least it helped me to clear my mind and think positively. Sometimes you have to cry and after that, you’ll realize that the tears have washed all the pain away and you will see it all clearly. Sometimes, you just have to stop and breathe in some air. You need that. You need that so you can still think clearly. You need that to lessen the burden. It is a lot different from running away from the problem. You’ll just take a break to help yourself through it. And just then, you’ll realize that your problems are just trashes that you’ll just laugh about in the future…

The thing I dread the most: scribbled thoughts from the complicated world of an impossible one

It’s the thing that i dread the most.
the feeling of joy seeing your beautiful face but feeling that great force of sadness when saying goodbye.
Saying goodbye.
I always wanted to see you, hitting you hard and the way you just let me do it without any hesitations. I always wanted to talk to you, hear your beautiful voice singing melodies that I don’t even know but still want to continue.It’s funny how you manage to keep me happy and uneasy at the same time. It’s funny how you manage to make me feel like time is standing still and running so fast at the same time. It’s funny how you make me remember every word that you say. It’s just funny yet what’s more funny is the way that I am trying to live not thinking about you and I think I am succeeding yet just a moment will make me extremely happy and sad at the same time. I manage to get hold of what’s within, to go on everyday without thinking about you and without you yet just a simple dream will get me off my track and made me what i am when it is about you…

 

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– scribbled thoughts from the complicated world of an impossible one